When You’ve Overstayed Your Welcome

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I sit here in my living room watching Blue Bloods and am getting ready to watch the episode of Empire that I missed…. but this is the first time in a week that I’ve had my living room to myself, especially in the evening. My husband’s middle nephew, who is twenty-one going on twenty-two, has been staying with us lately. Originally my husband and I talked and I said he could stay a few days…. it’s going on at least three weeks now that he’s been here more days/nights than not. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike him, he’s not a bad guy… but he’s not headed in the right direction either. He’s awaiting court right now for some stupid stuff, and he’s been in and out of trouble since he was young. His mom is something else and has raised all her kids the same way… it’s sad. I like to try to help people, but I can’t get them all the way there, they have to do a lot of it themselves, it’s that way for anybody. We’ve talked to him over and over about the decisions he was making in his life and why he didn’t want to go down that road…. but when we’re young, we often don’t listen…. hell, even when we’re old we often don’t listen. I’ve agreed to help him fill some paperwork out for state assistance with medical and food and use my computer to fill out some applications online, but he just cannot keep staying here. I was talking to him last night and I asked him if he had any plans, and he said to me, “Well I’d like to get a job, get my GED and then go to college”, smh…. I said, “No Philip, I mean any plans for what you’re gonna do now, like in the next month or two, how you’re gonna get on your feet, where you’re gonna stay.” He looks at me and serious and clueless as all get out says, “Well I thought I’d stay between nana’s and here until I can find a job and save the money to get a place.” Here I am over to the right, having a stroke. Ummm, nooooo, you will NOT stay here till you get a job, even IF you’re staying with nana sometimes. I didn’t say that to him of course, but we will, Sean and I will have to talk to him. He’s got to know that we just can’t. We have two young boys of our own and there’s really no place but the living room for him. I feel bad doing it, but I can’t help it. Sooner or later you have to learn that there isn’t always going to be someone there to save your ass, and he’s always had someone there to help him out in one way or another, even if it was temporary. He can’t control himself, he ends up screwing up, and hey, I get that, I’m one to talk for sure, I still lose control and screw up, all the time…. but his land him in jail and burning bridges, etc. There comes a time when we have to figure it out for ourselves…. I had to and I know plenty of others who’ve had to. I love him as family and I care about him, but he’s a grown man with two kids, two baby mama’s and it’s time. It’s never to late for anyone to change, but the older you get, the harder it gets, I do believe that, so it’s best he do it now. Plus, it’s just not the same having your home invaded by a foreigner, lol, “the guy on the couch” , the over stayed house guest…. it takes away a certain element of home in my eyes, but maybe that’s just me. 

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4 responses »

  1. I have been there done that and you are right. good luck and get your husband to stick to his guns also. It will take your united front to fix this one. Otherwise you will just be the bitch. I was the bastard a couple times but it was worth the ordeal. Stick with it. Good Luck

    Liked by 1 person

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