Fuck It


I try and I try and I keep fucking up. So fuck it. Need to end this all. This blog, this life, this everything. Nothing’s worth it. I lose everyone I love. Nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone. I hurt those I love without intending too. I tried to make him proud, tried to take the steps toward getting better and now I’m in trouble. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN. NO ONE. Everything I love, everything good that I touch, turns to shit. Fuck it. This very well may be it folks.


About lilylanders30

I'm a kind, loving and caring person for the most part, but if you cross me or screw me over, not so much. I'm a mom and a wife. I don't have much of a "life" outside of my family. I'm pretty straight forward and open/honest. I've been through a lot in my life and I don't have time for bs. I'm like a roller coaster of emotions all the time. I make a lot of my problems in life worse by my crazy actions, when I'm not even intending too. I love Jesus/God/Holy Spirit, and my faith has often been the only thing that's kept me going. I like a lot of different things. Reading, writing and music are 3 of the biggest ones. There's a lot I could write about me, but I'll stop at this, lol. :-)

7 responses »

  1. I understand its always easier said than done, but I want you to keep fighting as I really believe there are loads of people who may not sound sweet in your face, but they know you as their life’s support system. 🙂 For example, it is very hard for me to express my delight when someone as talented as you stopped by to appreciate one of my posts.
    You are an inspiration for many. Always know that. Keep smiling 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t give up sweetie, then “they” win. Always try and be your own best friend. Then you will never be alone. Try and not let other people define who you are. Only you know who you really are. I’ve been around for a lot of years and have dealt with some real assholes. I just smile and move on. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Lily, Nothing is worth the end. Do you think anyone will Understand if you just quit everything? Smoke a bowl, eat some chocolate, watch a sappy movie, and tell your past to fuck off. Life is bad enough, without making things worse. Come by my blog, watch some stuff, or read and mellow out for a while. Ask for what you need,

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t believe you’re going to give up right now because you messed up? If you know you made some mistakes it means there’s a human being in there. Frustration means you’re right on target to a breakthrough. You need a hand? Ask for it! Everyone’s “hand” looks different but whatever you need, I trust that you do have the support you need to pull through. Get mad but by all means, get changed.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s