I Hurt


I am so stupid. I do stupid things that I know I shouldn’t do but I do them anyway and I end up hurt. Why do I continue to do these things? I don’t know that I’ll ever really recover mental health wise. I always end up sad and hurt, hurt, hurt. And I do it to myself or allow it to be done. And all I really want I can never have. There’s no possibility of that. Going to the psych hospital, I don’t know, I’m not sure how much good it did me. Whatever though. Battle on, battle through.


About lilylanders30

I'm a kind, loving and caring person for the most part, but if you cross me or screw me over, not so much. I'm a mom and a wife. I don't have much of a "life" outside of my family. I'm pretty straight forward and open/honest. I've been through a lot in my life and I don't have time for bs. I'm like a roller coaster of emotions all the time. I make a lot of my problems in life worse by my crazy actions, when I'm not even intending too. I love Jesus/God/Holy Spirit, and my faith has often been the only thing that's kept me going. I like a lot of different things. Reading, writing and music are 3 of the biggest ones. There's a lot I could write about me, but I'll stop at this, lol. :-)

7 responses »

  1. Lily, The first thing you should do is eliminate the word “stupid” from your vocabulary. That is not is not a nice word any way.The term ” mental health” is arbitrary at best. Difficulties that do not involve trauma are , to me, a natural part of life. When I was a child I was called four eyes by all the children who did not need to wear glasses. This condition is obviously a DNA induced situation related to evolution of the race. Most peopple afflicted with anxiety/depression tend to have higher IQs than those who do not.The anxiety I deal with at the age of fifty eight was the energy that kept me sharp, fit and filled with boundless energy, all of which my physical body cannot handle right now. People around me mostly do not understand why my approach to life is different than before, and therefore , needing answers, there is a label already printed saying “suspect mental health” meds can help, as some have helped me, but mostly I have found my biggest problem is negativity. You can imagine how many folks in my life I have cut communication with have felt, but if I am ever to get well enough to finish my life in relative peace, I must relieve myself from that exposure. Hope this helps. Ten years since my emergency room visit, williamleeone

    Liked by 1 person

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