An empty shell, vacant of a woman who’d once been,
Soul lost, mindless…. Trying to stop the pain.
She’s stopped caring about the important things,
Her family, herself, her human condition.
She turns everything good in her life to shit,
Sabotaging all her relationships, familial, platonic, and romantic.
Living in a viscous cycle that always leaves her down and depressed,
It always comes back, the demon always welcomes himself back to her.
So lonely, she is so terribly, achingly lonely.
Tears don’t often come anymore, she feels as though she’s all cried out most days,
Then there are days when the tears just flow and the agony falls down her face.
This indescribable pain inside her heart, she just doesn’t understand,
What must she do to fix it? Hadn’t she been praying for so long now?
She doesn’t even try anymore, she’s giving up, slowly but surely, starting to scare herself,
Because this time it’s real, she knows that if she lets go, it’s really gonna be it this time.
A bleeding heart, wounded soul, broken emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted, physically disabled,
And people say she’s just having a pity party for herself, well maybe part of it is that she pity’s herself, but she knows others have it worse out there, she’s looking at just her life, being the ever so selfish woman that she is.
A woman who’s heart aches and bleeds over the love that she will never receiver from a man.
Most of all, she is just tired, so incredibly tired, and all she really wants is to just curl up and go to sleep and get forever lost in her dream world.
She’s so empty, yet so full of all these feelings and emotions at the same time….. She’s a mess.