Lost Innocence

A little girl with innocence still in her eyes, 

Shining through, bright blue.

One day someone notices that innocence is gone, 

Her eyes don’t shine as blue. 

They all want to know the truth, 

What happened to her innocent eyes. 

While their eyes were wide open, 

And they were all right there, 

The innocence in her eyes was being taken. 

He was just a “boy”, a young teen, the son of her mommy n daddy’s “friends”, 

She was supposed to be safe with him, she’d been with him alone before. 

Their parents all in the bedroom together, 

Taking in their chemicals, their white devil taking them to higher places. 

While in the living room, the little girl lay with the boy on the couch, 

With that scratchy green blanket over top of them. 

Her uncle, nodded out in his own chemical stupor, was supposed to be watching, 

“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do” played in the background. 

That’s when he made his move, his hands, creeping up her little leg, fingers touching, 

Touching her and causing her great confusion, why was he doing this, we’re not supposed to touch. 

She looked around, her world spinning, hoping a door would open from the bedroom, 

Looking over at her uncle, waiting for him to come too…. but he didn’t. 

The boy touched, made her touch, she knew  but she didn’t, 

In her mind she knew she had to stop this, but she did not know how. 

There is still some innocence in her eyes, when she looks up at this “friend”, 

Asks him to please stop, and he doesn’t, 

This is when the innocence in her bright blue eyes fades out. 

In that instant she learns that there is no one, 

No one but her to save herself. 

Forever after, that little girl is changed, 

She now sees life in a way she shouldn’t, 

Sees the good and the evil for exactly what it is. 

So when people wonder twenty four years later, 

Why her eyes don’t shine as they once did, 

She just smiles and shrugs them off. 

But it goes back to one event, 

One moment in time, 

When something was stripped of her, her child like outlook, her innocence. 

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That little girl is now a grown woman with a family of her own. That day however was a defining moment in my life. A lot of things changed after that, and it took some years for me to properly deal with the things that happened that night. I can honestly say I forgive the young man who did what he did, though it was not right at all, and there is no excuse for what he did. His parents were very bad drug addicts just as mine were and hadn’t been raised in the best of circumstances. Like I said, this did not give him the right to do what he did by any means, I’m just saying I understand his background as I came from the same, and I was able to forgive him. Though he took something from me that day, I have learned that God has filled that space. Forgiving him was not easy, but he has a much bigger judge that he must worry about someday, so for now, I try not to judge anyone. I’m sorry if this triggers anything for anyone or upsets anyone, but this IS a blog about my life, in my words, and this is a part of my life.