Category Archives: General Information

My Writing/Blogging

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I realize that since I got out of the psychiatric hospital, I haven’t been writing as much as I was before I went in. I’m not sure what the exact reason for this is, it’s not because I don’t have the time, because I do, and it’s not for lack of ideas of things to write about. I just haven’t been doing it…. laziness perhaps? I don’t know.  

I have been working on a couple of pieces about my mom, one of which I just published tonight, “The Day My Mom Died”. This year, April 13th marked the eleventh year since she passed and since I have this blog now, I decided I’d like to write a couple few posts about her between the 13th of this month and the 14th of May, which would be her 56th birthday had she lived. I guess to me dates are significant and when it comes to my mom, it’s like that month of time there in between dates is kind of like my, “my mom month”, where I seem to think of her more often and miss her a little more. So in memory of her, I decided to write about her. 

I’m hoping to get some other blog posts out too, while I’m still working on the last piece on my mom. I have some things to share, some more exciting that others, maybe like what’s been going on between D and I the last couple months, but the last few weeks especially. God I love that man, I know it sounds terrible, but I love him far more than I ever have my husband. How does that happen, seriously?? When it comes to the way I believe in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit and the Bible, I am very conflicted by my feelings for D, because technically, I know that I’m wrong, that everything about what I feel for him that goes beyond just friendship, is wrong. I know that the sexual things are wrong. All this stuff in the eyes of the God that I believe in, is wrong, yet I keep doing it and my feelings for him just keep getting stronger. I love him so much I could never end what we have. Above all else he’s my best friend, and that’s the honest truth. So yeah, there’s all that to talk about too, lol.

The weather’s been getting nicer and since we have a HUGE yard to rake, front AND back, we’ve been out doing a lot of raking and yard work. We have a big old willow tree that sits next to the house and hangs over the driveway and oh my goodness does it ever shed some branches, sticks, and leaves. Not to mention all the other trees in the yard and their leaves. It’s madness I tell you!! lol Raking nightmares at night, lol. Things are actually going alright right now for once, it’s kind of weird. I mean, they’re not great, but it’s not bad either, not like it usually is, the husband and I fighting constantly, his yelling and name calling to me, all that. I’m hoping and praying that things stay this way…. but I don’t have my hopes up. So here’s to hoping I can start posting more regularly, we’ll see what happens!! Thanks for following and reading my blog, I truly appreciate your support, it always makes me feel giddy to see another like or follower or comment, etc., so thanks again guys! Til next time. ~ L.L.  

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Thank You For The Support

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LilyLandersThanks

I just want to thank everyone for their supportive comments on my last blog post. I am going through a rough time right now, but I plan to have a real blog post done by the end of the weekend. Thank you for your continued support and visits to my blog. I really appreciate it. I have going on 60 followers now and that’s huge to me. Thanks guys. 

Wow!! Thanks Again!!

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Just a short message to say thank you to my followers and readers!!!! I now have reached 43 wordpress followers and even though I’m not quite sure I get it, lol,  I have 52 email followers!!!! I’m stoked guys, really. I appreciate it so much! Even if you only come and read one article, hit the follow button and never read again, I still appreciate the fact that you came and read that one article and chose to follow me, it makes me want to write even more. As I’ve said before, I’m not here for a popularity contest, but it sure is nice to know there are people out there reading your stuff sometimes. So again, thank you so so much, I love the support! Godspeed ~ L.L. 

A Little Unsure

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Lately I’ve been finding that I want to write, honestly, I do…. but one of two things keeps happening…. Either a) I’m so tired by the time that I actually get time to write, that it’s all I can do to hold my eyes open, let alone write. (Although that does make for an interesting idea, lol, sit here at the keyboard while I nod in and out, see what keys I push and go with it, lol.) or b) I want to write, but I seem to be having a hard time picking out one particular topic, idea, story, post, etc., I’m sure you get the picture. See, I’m bad for rambling and topic hopping, and I’d like to try to avoid that with this. I was thinking that maybe if I just posted multiple blog posts in twenty – four hour period, (without being to excessive and going overboard of course), that maybe that would solve this issue. Then there’s still choosing what to write about, even if I’m breaking it up into a few different pieces. I get a really good idea a lot of times and if I don’t write it down, I forget it most times. I’ve also been struggling with certain types of content that I’d like to write about, but am still not sure where I’m at on that. I think in the end I’ll choose to go with what it is that I want to write, because this blog is after all, entitled In My Words…. My life in my words. So if one blog post is about crafts with the kids and the next one is a hot and heavy R – rated piece, I guess don’t be surprised, lol. No matter what, my goal is to just keep writing, without going too long in between posts. So from now on, my plan is to write in a more organized format I guess you’d say…. trying to stick to one or two specific topics or ideas with each blog post…. even if that means multiple posts in a twenty – four hour period, like I said. We shall see how this works!! Above all, I’m not just doing this for myself, so that I don’t feel like I’m so jumbled together in my posts on here, but so that my readers can read what I have to say without trying to follow five topics at once, while hopping off down bunny trail one and two, lol. I want it to work for both myself and my readers. 

Ugh….

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Not feeling good these last few days. I have lots to write, but my head has been pounding for some days now and it’s making me nauseous. I just wanted to let people know that I’m still here and still ready to write, just a bit under the weather at the moment. First the kid, now me. Fun, fun, fun. Catch ya’ll on the flip side!!

I Am Here!!

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Just a short little note to say that I haven’t given this up!! lol I’ve just been dealing with a sick son and not feeling well myself!! But I have all kinds of things I want to write and post, I’m always thinking. So please be patient with me, as soon as things get back to normal, I’ll be back in business!! Thank you!!

Sick Children

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My oh my how sick children will wear you out!! My husband just got home from our weekend flea market booth, coming home early because our youngest son is sick right now and he wanted his Daddy and brother to come home. And do you know what the first thing I thought about doing was when they got home? ….. Taking a nap!!! *bowing head in shame* I know that’s terrible because I should be thinking about being up with my sick son, which I have been doing the whole day, but holy crap am I exhausted! I feel so bad for the poor little dude too, he’s five years old and he’s normally a VERY active little boy, but we found out yesterday that he has “Influenza A” and that he was running a temperature of 102 degrees, which is why he was complaining of a headache. The doctor wrote a prescription for Tamaflu, but there’s a brief lapse in the kids’ insurance due to none other than me, myself, and I, so we were unable to get his prescription. Now he’s got to tough this thing out for it’s full course, as the medicine would’ve chased the flu virus out of him faster. His temp was back up to 101.1 again today, and I’m doing everything that they told me to do too. Motrin and Tylenol, switching every 2-3 hours, ice packs if it gets up to 100 degrees or higher, fluids (which I’m having a hard time getting him to drink enough, but he’s doing better with it), chicken noodle soup, lots of prayer, trying to keep him resting – which is a feat all in itself, we’re doin the works over here….. It’s such a helpless feeling watching your child, or anyone you love for that matter, be sick, and know there’s nothing you can do except pray and be there to take care of them, help them, be there for them, but the want to make them better is very great, at times it puts you in tears. I know he’ll be better soon and that things will be back to normal, but for now it’s hard not to worry and fuss. I will try to work on Part 2 of My Darkness, but it most likely will come after my baby is better, which I’m sure is understandable. I’ve been cleaning everything with bleach spray and rubbing alcohol, wiping everything down as we go along, pillowcases will need to be washed, blankets, anything he sneezed on, lol, smh, kids!! We’re working on sneezing into the elbow, we’re making progress too. He’s whiny of course but hell, I’m whinier than my kids even when I’m sick!! He broke down on the phone with his dad today and started telling him he wanted him to come home with brother please, I want my daddy, poor guy, it was a sad sight. Over course, daddy and brother left early, went to the store and got some sick guy goodies and came home to him.   It’s amazing how fast this came on, he left for school Friday morning and seemed fine, came home Friday night complaining of a headache, which was due to a high fever, next thing you know, he’s sick in full swing. Part of being a kid I guess, passing wonderful germs from one child to the next cause little Johnny sneezed on his hand, then touched Annie’s hand, Bobby wiped his snot with his hand and touched Annie’s hand too, so now Annie’s double infested, aaahhh, next thing you know, they’ve passed it to the whole class! Ugh… well, for now, stay healthy! 

Just A Little Somethin’

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 As I said in my ‘About’ post and page, this is my first time blogging, so, with that said, I’d like to take a minute to ask you to please bare with me as I found myself in the art of blogging, discovering styles that I’m comfortable with, different ways to present my content, and the technicalities of tweaking and personalizing my blog page, as I am not tech savvy, and do not understand any of that business, even when explained to me by article, a person, etc. That is what I call, ‘computer technical stuff’, lol… but I’m going to attempt to understand the different things I can do with my blog page. It’s just going to take me time. Like I said before, I have one particular theme that I know I want to write about for sure, and that is my online love affair…. but, there are other random things that I will most likely blog about as well, a lot of it probably being related to my marriage, my kids maybe, myself and how I feel, my struggles in other areas, my history/background, and more….. It’s kind of an open book, no pun intended… the door is open to anything…. possibilities are endless. Like the title says, “In My Words”, basically meaning, ‘life, in my words’. Anyway, I just wanted to thank the folks that have read my posts, whether just one, or all of them. I know I don’t have much posted yet, I’d like to try and post at least once a day, but with having two young boys and a disabled husband, along with my own disabilities, it’s sometimes hard to commit to daily anything….. but, I do want to try, what I’m realistically looking at though, is every other day. I’d like to keep it going, get something on here regularly. It is not my goal to have a bunch of followers or readers, although don’t get me wrong, that would be great, but just having a few regular readers/followers would be goal and awesome. Thank you to all of you who are reading this, and to those of you who have read other posts from me, I appreciate your time and support!!! Til next time, take care!! ~ L.L. 

A Little Bit About Me And This Blog

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A Little Bit About Me And This Blog

  Hello! I’d like to start out by telling you a little bit about myself. I am a twenty – nine year old mother of two boys, ages five and seven, and I am also a wife of seven and a half years. My family and I live in northern Michigan. I’ve led a very, hmm, we’ll say, colorful life… some say I’ve been through a lot, some say that I’m strong… and maybe I have, maybe I am… but I’ve gone through nothing more than the next person, I’m no stronger than they. I’m a pretty open and honest person. However all the names in my blog will always be changed to protect the person I’m talking about. I’m not afraid to say what I’m thinking or feeling. I have quite a few health issues for my age, but I try not to let them get me down. I have a lot of growing to do still in life, as a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a believer of God, just in general, a lot of growing left. I struggle, just like the next guy, but deep down I know I must continue to fight. 

 I’m choosing to blog publicly rather than keep a journal or just not write at all, because for some reason, I feel compelled to write publicly about certain personal and non-personal things in my life. I guess there’s a hope, a thought, that perhaps, there is someone, somewhere out there, that will read my blog posts and be able to relate somehow… or that someone, somewhere out there will read one or all of my blog posts and be helped, moved, inspired, or somehow educated from it; from just my “regular” everyday life and stories of it, or advice that I may want to share, opinions on all things life, etc. Just as long as it somehow, someway, touches someone in some way.  

I’d like for this blog to be about my life in my own words, my life as I see it, and some of the key elements to my current life. One of those things, a main one I think it will be, is about a relationship I shouldn’t have with a man online and have fallen in love with. Other subjects will include my current failing marriage and somethings about my family maybe. I’d like to talk about different real life topics eventually…. This is a new experience for me, so please bare with me as I learn the ropes, and learn to tweak and change things.   

Should I continue this blog throughout the next year, I would like to have at least gotten a rhythm down, a main focus, or several main focuses. I would hope to know for sure by then exactly where I’m going with this blog and why. I’m open to suggestions, advice, and constructive criticism… I do not however appreciate rudeness of any kind. I feel if you do not like what you’re reading, rather than say something rude or negative, just simply do not read it anymore. It is not my goal to offend anyone through this blog. I hope that you enjoy it, and I’m very grateful and appreciative to all my readers and followers. Thank you!!